This week we focussed on the
presentation of the self, specifically looking at Goffman's arguments
in 'The Nature of Deference and Demeanor' (1967). The self is made up
of two concepts. Deference refers to the interactions that occur
between individuals, and the specific 'rituals' that must take place
within the interaction. For example, complimenting one another.
Demeanor, on the other hand, refers to the way in which we present
ourselves to society, for example, through the way we dress.
My understanding is that Goffman argues
we will change our 'self' to suit the social situation we find
ourselves in. In this way, I will present a different version of
myself when I am working as a waitress, to the one found on the dance
floor on a Wednesday night, and this is different again to the one
who sits drinking tea with my grandmother. These different versions
of a self help us, and those around us, to maintain certain
relationships.
When doing my readings for this week I
couldn't help thinking about the way in which I will be employing a
different 'self' this very weekend. The situation is that my
boyfriend's sister has got a tattoo this week. To be honest, I don't
really like any tattoos but this one is particularly bad. I saw a
photo of it and think it looks awful – I can't understand why
anyone would want that permanently on their skin. This Saturday night
we have a family dinner, and I know she will want to show me it in
person. To tell her what I actually think of the tattoo will be
breaking these unwritten social rules. It will cause an awkward and
embarrassing moment for everyone there. In order to help her and
myself 'keep face' I have two options. Either I will need to assume a
new 'self' who tells her that I think it is great, or avoid the topic
altogether. I will perform what Goffman calls an 'avoidance ritual'.
Although it is a trivial matter, I cannot help being worried about
it. =P
Goffman, E (1967) 'The nature of deference and demeanor' Interaction Ritual: Essays on Face-to-Face Behaviour, Doubleday, Garden City, NY, pp 47-95.
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